Nightmare... This has probably happened to you too, right? ... or Left?
In my nightmare I found myself nude in bed. I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling and I discovered that I am a Negro ... and I'm circumcised!
Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver's license photo ... it was that same color, Black!
I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair ... But it's a wheelchair!!
That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I'm also disabled!!!
I said to myself... aloud, "This is impossible. It's impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled."
"It's the pure and holy truth", whispers someone from behind me. I turn around and it's my boyfriend, Jimenez ... Just what I needed!!! [more]
Now, I'm a homosexual and on top of that have a Mexican boyfriend!
Oh, my God..... Black, Jewish, disabled, gay, with a Mexican boyfriend, no doubt I'm a drug addict and HIV-positive!!!
Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, try to pull my hair out ... Oh, nooooo... I'm freaking bald!!! Then the telephone rings... it's my brother.
He's saying, "Since mom and dad died the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs and lay around all day doing nothin'! Get a job, you worthless piece of crap... any job.!"
Mom?... Dad?... Nooooooooo... Now, I'm also an unemployed orphan!
I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV positive, bald AND an orphan! But he doesn't get it. Frustrated, I hang up.
It's then I realize .... I only have one hand!!!
With tears in my eyes I go to the window and look out. I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash everywhere. Suddenly, I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker.... Pacemaker?
Besides being a disabled Jewish Negro, a fairy with a Mexican boyfriend, an HIV positive drug addict, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one hand and a bad heart, I find out I even live in a crappy neighborhood!
At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, "Sweetie pie, my love, my little black heart throb, have you decided what you are going to wear to Washington to see Obama?"
Say it isn't so!!! I can handle being a black, disabled, one armed, drug addicted, Jewish homosexual on a pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend.....
But please, oh dear God, please don't tell me I'm a .... Democrat!!